weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
