and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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