well most of my day revolves around power hour
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
