Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
