so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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