She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
