You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I have fence marks all over my body
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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