it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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