After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
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