So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
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