do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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