The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
