Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
