OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
