do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
