Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize