I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
