At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize