Got a toothbrush?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
There r osticjed everywhere
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
