someone get that fucking seahorse.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
