ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
