your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
