I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
