I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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