He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
