It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
