I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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