Your face is a jimmy john
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize