True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
