He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Randomize
