separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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