I swear she didn't look like that last week.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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