Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
My vagina is very pro this idea
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
