I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
