saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize