i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
