high people should be assigned attendants
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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