Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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