Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize
