I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
