Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
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