The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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