hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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