The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
