his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
