And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
