is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
