Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I don't deserve a penis
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I believe in your delicious
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