i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Randomize
