i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
