Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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