i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Randomize
