Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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