i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Randomize
