ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
