I'm laying in your front yard are you home
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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