Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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