I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
