are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
