May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
