Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
