Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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