Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
