Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
