were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
