so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
