We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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