So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize