We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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