ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
her vagine was all disorganized.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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