i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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