He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
