my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
