Who wears a wallet chain?!
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
