There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
