On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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