Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
